Famous "one-liners"...

"Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"

Warren Hutcherson

"I think I know how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it ju-u-u-st isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"

Richard Jeni

"Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!"
Groucho Marx
(From "A Day At The Races")

"What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?"

Fred Allen

"I finally realized the happy medium, 'honey blonde' was the correct color and line for me."

Ann Sothern

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."

Billie Burke

"My Latin temper blows up pretty fast, but it goes down just as fast. Maybe that's why you seldom hear of ulcers in Latin America."

Desi Arnaz

"It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate."

Dave Barry