Famous "one-liners"...

"Any girl can look glamorous... just stand there and look stupid."
Doris Day

"I dress up for awards, but only if somebody else is going to pay for the clothes. And shop for them, too!"
Tea Leoni

"I lose things all the time, and I like to think that there's a reason behind it besides creeping senility or stupidism."
John Goodman

"And I'd like to give my love to everybody, and let them know that the grass may look greener on the other side, but believe me, it's just as hard to cut."
Little Richard

"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
Rodney Dangerfield

"If somebody's looking at pictures of naked people and you go, 'Oh I don't want to see that,' you're lying. Cause naked people are always interesting. Always. Whether they're beautiful, or naked or 500 pounds."
Andy Richter

"If I can't get the girl, at least give me more money."
Alan Alda

"If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit."
Kevin Nealon

"I left home because I was hungry."
Red Skelton

"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."

Katharine Hepburn