Getting the girlfriend on board for boating plans

[Outspoken]

Getting the girlfriend on board for boating plans
By GAIL RICE
Portland Press Herald

Here's a question I hear often -- and one I occasionally see posted on Internet sailing forums: How can I get my wife/fiance/girlfriend to be more enthusiastic about sailing?

Not knowing the woman in question, it's hard to come up with a specific answer. But as a woman who has been sailing for 15 years -- sometimes in less than optimal conditions -- I have some ideas for guys who would like to inspire passion for boating in their significant others. Some of these might even work for those with reluctant partners of any gender or with children who might be fearful of new situations. Please keep in mind my only credentials here are 15 years of experience; I am neither a therapist nor a relationship expert.

When it comes to getting your significant other out on the boat, I have one rule that trumps all. It helps tremendously to pick the right person to start with -- one who shares your passion for the water, or more generally, the outdoors. While I had never set foot on a sailboat before meeting my husband, we shared a love for skiing, hiking, camping and other outdoor pursuits. His connections as crew on a racing sailboat got me into the sport, and after a few years, we had a boat of our own.

Another shared trait among most boating couples and families we know: the women are low-maintenance. While this works best if it's a natural characteristic, it can be learned, often through exposure to and commiseration with other low-maintenance women.

Women who spend lots of time on the water can become accustomed to feeling a little grungy once in a while, be it from exposure to sunscreen or salt spray, or lack of access to modern conveniences like hot running water. The perfect hairdo, long fingernails, designer clothing and high heels are either left ashore or reserved for the "trophy wife" on board a megayacht.

But if you're a guy whose gal is not naturally outdoorsy, or who prefers to be at least somewhat civilized, there's a lot you can go to help her be more comfortable on the boat.

A good first step: Pick your days for those first few outings. Nothing will turn someone off to boating more quickly than a nasty day with strong winds, confused seas, rain or thunderstorms. If you pick a nice day, there's a better chance you'll both have fun, and she'll be more likely to go out again.

Sailors should keep in mind that it might take a while for your mate to adjust to your boat's angle of heel. My husband will tell you that I used to squeak audibly whenever our boat heeled more than 15 degrees. His solution was to let me control the mainsheet and thus, the level of heel. My comfort zone gradually expanded, and today, the squeak doesn't come into play until there are gusts and a heel angle of at least 35 degrees. Each experience in less-than-perfect conditions reinforces the knowledge that the boat can take way more than we can.

http://pressherald.mainetoday.com/story.php?id=198799&ac=Outdoors

[Outspoken]

Boat always comes first when there's housework to do
By GAIL RICE
Portland Press Herald

Last week, I wrote about ways a guy might get his girlfriend/wife/significant other to join him on the water. I talked of picking the right woman to begin with, choosing a day with nice weather, and making her comfortable on the boat.

But I apparently forgot one very important thing: At least some of the ladies out there feel the need to keep the house in order. It's awfully hard to do that if you spend all your free time on the boat.

I'm not one of those ladies. As a result, our home on terra firma is not something you'd see in the latest issue of Better Homes and Gardens. I'm sure Martha Stewart would be positively aghast if she were to see our place.

Now don't get me wrong -- I don't live in squalor, and the house isn't crumbling into the ground. Like our boat, the house is structurally sound and reasonably free of leaks. But at certain times of the year, our house is more likely to look like a staging area for boat stuff than a dwelling.

I have a feeling we're not alone. Unless you have the desire and the resources to keep a handyman and maid on retainer, your home probably suffers a bit during the short Maine summer.

So what does a humble sailor's home look like?

From the street, ours passes the 250-foot test. That means it looks OK from 250 feet away. It's a good thing we have a long, tree-lined driveway, because it obscures the fact that our lawn hasn't been mowed in weeks. We have found that mowing the lawn is not particularly gratifying. Our lawn consists largely of a highly diverse variety of weeds -- some of which grow quickly and others, not at all.

So while it looks OK right after it's been mowed, it doesn't take long for our lawn to start looking scraggly again. I suppose we could give it a little TLC, weeding and feeding, but the motivation just isn't there. Besides, working on the lawn cuts into boat time.

Gardening also would cut into boat time, and that's one reason we don't have one. The other reason: I have a black thumb. Or perhaps it's a blue marine clay thumb, because that's the main component of the soil at our house. Whatever the reason, I can't get anything to grow, except, of course, our diverse selection of weeds.

As you get closer to the house, you'll see that the paint is peeling just a bit. Painting also cuts into boat time. Surely you can't expect us to sacrifice a moment of our all-too-brief boating season to paint the house?

The natural (or should I say unnatural) solution for the sailor wanting a low-maintenance home is vinyl siding. This year, the captain and I are finally breaking down and making the investment. Soon there will be very little paint to peel.

Should you dare to step inside a sailor's home, you will likely find an assortment of boating paraphernalia scattered about. This includes, but is not limited to coolers, boat shoes, foul weather gear and other outerwear, and canvas bags of every size, shape and color. Please understand that when we return home Sunday evening after a weekend on the water, we're way too exhausted to put stuff away.

I haven't come up with a reason why it doesn't get put away the following day, but give me time -- I'll come up with an excuse.

http://pressherald.mainetoday.com/story.php?id=200073&ac=Outdoors